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Top 5 Adults:
1
A guy's in a bar when another guy comes in.
After a while, the new guy says to him, "I fuck your Mom!"
The bartender is expecting a fight, as the guy keeps drinking.
A few minutes later, the new guy says, "Your Mom sucks my cock!"
The guy keeps drinking.
A few minutes later he says, "I fuck your Mom in her asshole."
He stands up and says, "Look, Pop, you're drunk. Go home."
2
A nurse says to a girl in the maternity ward, "Would you like your husband to be present at the birth?"
She says, "I'm afraid I don't have a husband, or a boyfriend. I'm unattached...I'll be having my baby on my own."
After the birth, the nurse says to the girl, "You have a healthy bouncing baby, but the baby is black."
The girl says, "I was down on my luck, so I took a job in a porno movie where the lead man was black."
The nurse says, "The baby also has blonde hair."
The girl says, "There was a Swedish guy in the movie, too."
The nurse says, "The baby also has slanted eyes."
The girl says, "There was a Chinaman in the movie, too."
Then the nurse hands the baby to the girl. The girl spanks it, and it cries out.
The girl says, "That's a relief. I was afraid the little bastard was gonna bark."
3
A woman's husband was watching a football game and she was bored. So she went
outside and decided to pick up the trash in the yard. After a while, the
husband came outside and was watching her work when he said, "You know,
your butt is as big as that BBQ grill". She didn't say anything, she
just kept working. That night he crawled into bed and she turned her back
to him. He asked her why she didn't want to have sex with him, and she
said, "Why should I fire up this big old BBQ grill for just one little
weenie like that ?!?
4
There was this little boy who woke up 3 nights in a row to hear his parents making noises from their bedroom. On the 3rd morning, the little boy finally asked his mom, "Mom, for the last 3 night I waked up during the night, and I hear you and daddy making noises from your room. Why?" Surprised by the question the mom replies, "Well... I am jumping up and down on him because he is so fat, that it makes him feel thin." Then the boy said, "That won't work mom!" The mom asks, "Why?" The boy then says, "Because after you leave for work every morning, the lady from next door comes by and pumps dad right back up!"
5
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he sees this beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar reading a book so he tells the bartender to send her a drink. The bartender sets the beer down in front of her but she didn't pay any attention to it and continues reading. The guy is a little disturbed so he tells the bartender to send another drink, but again she ignores it and continues reading. The guy thinks to himself, "Maybe I should try one more time." So he tells the bartender to send her one more beer, but again she ignores it and keeps reading. Now the guy is getting a little upset so he decides to go talk to this woman. He walks up and says, "Excuse me miss, but I just bought you 3 beers and you ignored all of them. May I ask why?" She replies, "I'm sorry I was too wrapped up in this book of male genitalia. Did you know that Indian men have the widest fattest dicks?" "Um, no I didn't know that." "And did you know that Mexicans have the longest dicks of any men?" "Nope, didn't know that one either." The woman then extends her hand and says, "My name is Cathy, what is yours?" He said, "Tonto Rodriguez!"
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